Bold blossoms point to the healing of the soil of the soul.
And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Jeremiah, what do you see?” And I said, “I see an almond branch.” Then the Lord said to me, “You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it.” Jere. 1:11-12
Henri Nouwen once said:
Going to your heart with your wounds is not easy, it demands letting go of many questions. You have to let go of the need to stay in control of your pain and trust in the healing power of your heart. There your heart finds a safe place to be received and once they have been received, they lose their power to inflict damage and become fruitful soil for new life.
One month ago, I entered into a time of spiritual renewal. Layers of painful experiences and raw emotions previously pushed down because “I had to keep going” decided to be silent no more. So, time was graciously offered to me by the church leadership to rest, restore and revive my body, mind and soul. And in the midst of the waiting, listening, and worship, I learned to watch the blossoms begin their journey toward promise keeping and hopeful revelation.
True confessions. I am not a nut person. So, almonds do not impress me. Take peanuts and turn it into a sweet confection and I’m good. But a tree nut like an almond never called to me. Until now.
In reading the passage from Jeremiah, the reference to an almond branch caught my eye, leading me to find other references to almonds: their branches, blossoms, and fruit. Almond blossoms are directly referenced in the Old Testament. These are the blossoms found as a decorative and symbolic element of the lampstands of the tabernacle. (Ex. 25) Aaron’s staff suddenly was filled with this particular kind of blossom. (Numb. 17:8) Even in words of wisdom, this specific plant is mentioned in a description of old age (Eccl. 12:5). “But why?” I asked myself. Because I know every detail in scripture is present on purpose for a purpose. So, I set out to dig deeper.
Geography in the Bible matters and those living in the land at the time would have known that fact. Early recipients of the scripture knew this specific fruit tree bears the earliest evidence of eventual harvest but the owner of the tree must wait the longest for the full harvest to be realized. Actually, the blossoms often appear before the leaves. And yet while bearing beautiful blossoms of promise, the almond tree is the last to bear fruit.
In the passage, Jeremiah was called by God but he wondered if he could accomplish the task. To bear the word of God in faithful witness was one thing. But dealing with the people he was called to minister to – that was another skill set entirely. I think Jeremiah understood the concept of his call as being too “peoplely” – life seems easier when it’s just God and me. But we are not made to be isolated in our love for God alone, we must also love others. The Cross not only reaches vertically, but also horizontally to those different from me, across the aisle from me, and truthfully, a little scary to me. See, Jeremiah was not the first and won’t be the last to let the notion of “not being good enough” take root in his spirit. And yet, the Lord not only promised to be with him (1:8) and to give him the words to say (1:7-9), He also promised to watch over His word to fulfill it (1:11-12). Did you know the words almond branch and watching over in verses 11 and 12 both sound similar in Hebrew? In short: God would fulfill His word; it would not fail. But it would require Jeremiah and me to be watching and waiting for the blossoms that signaled a needed transformation.
And blue shoes are just one of the blossoms which have opened for me in my time of reflective retreat.
As I was getting ready for the spiritual pilgrimage part of my renewal – a 10-day trip which begin in five days to places where the Apostle Paul journeyed– I found out I needed good walking shoes that were water resistant. So, Glenn and I went shoe shopping. Glenn, being “vanilla” as his daughter calls him, got his standard navy-blue athletic shoe. For me, I had two options that fit the need: an all-black shoe and an electric blue shoe with a streak of rose red. The choice was mine to make.
The black shoe stirred up old hurts. In the past, I had received criticism and judgement for frequently wearing black at work. Truthfully, it was not a fashion statement as much as it was for practical reasons – black went with all other colors, could be casual or dressy, and didn’t show dirt easily. It also made me blend into the background more easily. And I don’t mean from the obvious slimming attributes of the color. I had learned to give excuses even when the black really served as a backdrop for something bigger – a canvas for a colorful witness of God’s work in me.
Then that blue shoe called to me. Called me to follow my heart and not the opinion of others. Called me to be the authentic person God made me to be, even if others didn’t understand.
In that moment, I had a flower bud appear on my faith branch that went beyond shoe selection. I could continue to hid my hurt and my authentic self in darkness, or bring my full self, my real self into the light and be full of color and creativity as God created me.
But what if someone didn’t like the blue?
What if the fashion police criticized me?
What if assumptions were made about me because of my choice of footwear?
I realized for a blossoming bud of faith to be a flowering witness, I had to let go of the questions, lean into Jesus and let the healing begin. Nouwen understood that and now I did as well. For with each blossom giving witness to the strengthen of my faith, the more the soil of my soul was preparing for a fresh new growth. Fruit was coming and I am going to be ready. Wearing my blue shoes of the gospel.
The thing about blossoms is that they can not bear fruit without an encounter with the “different” in the world. Whether a flower blossom is visited by another “bee-ing”???? or the uncontrollable wind brings pollen from another sprouting blossom, God encounters are all around and are for our good healing and growth.
In a few weeks, the cherry blossoms in our nation’s capital will be in full bloom. But we are called to a different blossom watching season. Now is the time to watch the almond blossoms emerge as we stop holding onto insecurities, egos, broken pieces, pain of the past as well as our perceptions, protections and assumptions that lies to us in our present. For any seed to grow fruit for a hungry world, it must let go from its anchoring branch and fall, broken to the receiving soil that also holds its roots: the only place it can die in order to truly live. Why else throughout the Bible, would life begin in a garden, be transformed in a garden, and be renewed in a garden full of colorful and beautiful hope realized.
As for me, don’t be surprised if you see me in black pants and blue shoes. It’s all good because it’s a sign God is not finished revealing the unique, sometimes quirky, and beloved masterpiece He created me to be. Being the bold blue shoe witness of Jesus the world needs – on purpose for a purpose.